Desires

i just got this from a subscription email to Mama Genas... i thought it was too precious a reminder to just delete and forget... so im saving it here...

Your closely held, longed for desires are an opportunity. Not just an opportunity for you to receive, which is delightful, but also an opportunity for someone else to give. Which is, perhaps, even more delightful.

And there is always a way for your desires to be met; in fact, it is inevitable. And you needn't know the tiniest bit about how to accomplish them. Living in the desire is the creation of the fulfillment.

... a timely reminder for me who hasn't been feeling glowing lately... : (

Tests

a nice man is coming halfway around the world to take his vacation where i am, and see me. he started out as a friend, whom i actually had heated arguments with the first few times, and i stood my ground (i knew i was right), and i guess... he has learned to respect me, too, and not just see me as just another pretty face...

well, actually, he has revealed his deeper feelings already, but i am firm on friendship first, this time.

it is not so much a test for him, but a test for me, to see how much i've grown, how far i've come, in my journey from no-self to true self...

then, there's the other dilemma, too.... J, the love of my heart, mind and soul... the love who is so far away, the love who can't be mine (yet, i hope)...

it is a fine line i toe, exploring my growth as a person and as a woman, yet taking care not to hurt nor harm J... and even this nice man who's travelling halfway around the world to see me...

what to do, dear heart?