Descansos

it is time for my own descansos now.

this lovely moment

the kids are in school and i am alone in the house, but happily chatting with J.
the birds chirp outside, while a cool breeze leads the curtains on a slow gentle dance.
a pressure is building up, from that other part of me which keeps reminding me of the many To Dos i have yet to do...
but i keep it at bay and ignore it.
it is only one little part of me.
the rest of me is relishing this delicious, lovely moment alone.
there will be time enough for To Dos again later, but right now--
Right Now:


this is my bliss.

Mindful and Loving Self-Care

knock on wood, i am doing very well in the discipline department of my "reveling in my perfect weight" project, eating less but not at all feeling deprived. : )

mainly i keep repeating to my self my self-invented mantra, especially when im in the shower. i go slower, stroke my self lovingly all over even as i repeat my mantra in my mind. (i even go extra and tenderly talk to my breasts, too-- mmmmm, you are sooo full, healthy and sumptous, youuuuu!!!--to encourage them to grow back to their former voluminous glory before the breastfeeding years!!! heehee...)

then, too, there is the constant asking of my self if im really hungry, do i really need to eat, or am i needing something else, and the reminding of my self that goddesses don't eat their kids' leftovers. : )

so far, my body is responding very well by cooperating. it clearly sees itself as 136 pounds, indeed, and that anything more are being dropped off quickly and effortlessly, so don't ruin it by adding to the anything more... : )

now that i am saying No to quite a number of chances to eat, i am also becoming more aware of just how much kids' leftover food ive been eating last year! and the fact that most times, i eat absentmindedly when i don't really need to eat, because im doing something else instead, or my mind is preoccupied on something.

now, when i eat,it becomes almost like a holy ritual. i pause and pray and give thanks, then i count the tablespoonfuls of rice i put into my plate (only 5, equal to 1 cup), take just what i need with the other dishes, and as i take the food into my mouth, i anticipate it, then take it in slowly, savoring the taste and every chew (sometimes i even close my eyes and smile!)... before i finally swallow. so, even if i take less of what i used to take before, because i am more mindful now, paying attention to the moment and only to the food itself, my pleasure is doubled, even tripled, and i end up feeling satiated in many ways than just a full stomach.

it doesnt feel so much like dieting as just taking good care of my self now, mindfully and lovingly.