ssshhhhhh...

i learned something while i treated my self to a swedish massage with aromatherapy session at the spa today.

i rarely weigh my self on scales since ive learned to love my body for what it is, but today i was curious.... and SHOCKED.

i tipped the scales at 160 pounds!!!

ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY UNBELIEVABLE POUNDS.

omigod. how can this be? i've always felt and looked like a 136-pounder, for my tall-for-an-Asian height, and have always thought of my body as voluptous and delicious : >, and a young attractive, twenty-something man at the boat terminal even flirted with me today (not my type, though, so i quickly created lots of space between us heheh)... but 160 pounds sounds HUMONGOUS and UNFEMININE!!! : ( : ( : (

while my eyes were closed and my body was being massaged, i knew enough not to lambast my self with negative and accusing self-talk again. at least, i had the good sense to decide that whatever i want next for my body, i will go about it by treating my body with respect and love, and not force it to fit some mass-produced template of what a woman's body should "ideally" weigh, or else, my body will of course obey and weigh less, but it will also feel more unloved than loved.

so, i coined this affirmation for my self for 2006, after computing that i would need to lose at least 2 pounds a month over one year to go back to 136 pounds....

I revel in my perfect weight of 136 pounds! Anything more is not me, and just falls off quickly and effortlessly.

heeehee (grinning ear to ear)... well at least my body agrees with that, does not feel insulted that it is being asked to weigh less, and more importantly, does not feel any less loved at all!