In another life

In another life
more than three years ago
I would have chafed at the thought
that I could not speak to any man
in the laughing, teasing, flirting way
that I am sometimes
prone to speak,
just for the fun of it.

In this life
now, with you
It matters to me more
that I not hurt you
intentionally, or worse--
unintentionally--
when I speak to any man
in the laughing, teasing, flirting way
that I am sometimes
prone to speak,
just for the fun of it.

There is no fun in it anymore.

Loss of "freedom"?
Or growing depth in true loving?

In another life
the answer would have been
quick and glib.

It is not so anymore.