Her dress has got a tear.
She waltzes on her way to mass,
And whistles on the stair
And underneath her wimple
She has curlers in her hair.
I even heard her singing in the abbey.
She's always late for chapel
But her penitence is real.
She's always late for everything
Except for every meal!
I hate to have to say it but I very firmly feel--
Maria's not an asset to the abbey.
I like to say a word in her behalf--
Maria makes me laugh!
How do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find a word that means Maria?
A flibbertijibbet, a will o the wisp, a clown!
Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her;
Many a thing she ought to understand.
But how do you make her stay,
And listen to all you say,
How do you keep a wave upon the sand?
Oh how do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?
When I'm with her I'm confused,
Out of focus and bemused,
And I never know exactly where I am.
Unpredictable as weather
She's as flighty as a feather.
She's a darling, she's a demon, she's a lamb.
She'd outpester any pest,
Drive a hornet from its nest;
She can throw a whirling dervish out of whirl!
She is gentle, she is wild;
She's a riddle, she's a child;
She's a headache, she's an angel;
She's a girl!
How do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find a word that means Maria?
A flibbertijibbet, a will o the wisp, a clown!
Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her;
Many a thing she ought to understand.
But how do you make her stay,
And listen to all you say,
How do you keep a wave upon the sand?
Oh how do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?
