mind games

244 emails
back and forth
in 47 days--
the dance began.

shy, at first,
tentative,
then with each step
emboldened,
surer, faster
quick-stepping
in unison,
rising
to a feverish pitch,
then we revealed
our hearts.

and then
i had to go away
for two days
or so i told you;
but i went away
in more than one way too:
seeking balance,
trying to find an even keel,
frightened by the speed--
"i want to do it right this time"--
only to come back
missing you
more than ever.

"hi, im back!"
is all a friend is just supposed to say
but my 909 words
betray me.

you
let 18 more hours pass
before you reply--
"id love to write to you so much
but it's bedtime.
so i will keep you in suspense."

18 words
for my 909.
: (

the dance has changed tune;
the mind games have begun.
i see it
i know it
i am even amused by it--
but i hate it
all the same.

i just so want to fall
but i must hold my self in check.
play my part
dance my discreet dance:
pulling you back
by pulling away
my self.

sigh.