it's that time again.
it's been a very rainy and cold Monday morning here; the kids are at school, im alone in the house, trying to trudge on with an editing project and the data analysis for my project paper which have been taking so long to finish, mainly for my lack of heart in these endeavors. but finish them, i must, if only so i can move on fresh and free with my fulltime writing dreams now...
im feeling lonesome, and needing some cheerful company, even some warm cuddling. sigh. but there's no one around. all the other important people in my world are engrossed in their own lives. sigh. even my email alert notifications have been silent and inactive for an hour now! : (
...
i run through the list of options in my mind, "tricks" in the bag i've discovered for my self that help me pick me up again healthily and happily. even just thinking about them while taking my shower, and then having my lunch alone, is already making me smile...
here they are (i do any one, or two, or all; whatever suits my fancy... and the degree of my need)--
1. take a longer shower than usual, really going about the shampooing and soaping slow and easy, in a pampering way... while repeating positive meditation mantras, or what i call my emergency mantra learned from Silva, when the dark cloud over my head is really about to oppress me: "negative thoughts, negative suggestions, have no influence over me at any level of mind."
2. sit down with my self over a proper, healthy lunch, even if i'm alone; really set the table for my self, with all the good plates and glassware and cutlery in place (treating my self like i would a very special guest; honoring my self, so to speak... goddesses don't eat on the run, they eat mindfully : > ); and making sure to eat only healthy food (my lunch for today: pesto on pasta, and mixed vegetable juice), because if i give in to the temptation of bingeing (emotional eating) on sweets, chocolates, ice cream, junk, i already know id just feel even worse afterwards. so as a preventive measure, i really just stock up on healthier foods now, and when the kids have the sweets, etc., with them, when im really tempted, i just take a bite, to satisfy the need for the flavor.
3. drink lots of water, while repeating another set of positive meditation mantra again : ) (don't laugh; check out how our thoughts affect even water crystals by searching for Dr. Masaru Emoto and his water experiments, or click here). it helps in several ways: i feel fuller so i don't need to eat more, the positive thoughts while drinking water do help me feel better even if it's just the symbolic physicality of ingesting the positives into your body, drinking lots of water speeds up metabolism; good for calorie-burning!, and a habit of water drinking clears the skin, the body, the mind.
4. write my current thoughts and feelings on my journal or blog, without any judgment, just expressing everything down; somehow the act of getting them down on paper (or blog) removes them from you.
5. sleep (i already did this earlier today, after i arrived home at 8am after bringing the kids to school).
6. self-pleasure. : ) (not in the mood, i need B's additional inspiration for this... : >)
7. list down all the things i am thankful for (never fails!)-- just thinking right now of how i could be so lucky just staying at home and doing what i want to do, when most everyone else in the world are struggling with work, even jobs they hate and people they don't like, instantly zaps major chunks of blues away
8. go to the beauty salon for a treat (pedicure, manicure, foot spa, hot oil, facial; any one or two, or the whole works, if it's really a major self-care job im needing)
9. go to the spa for a full body massage
10. date my self at my favorite restaurants
11. put on clothes i look good, feel good in, even some makeup and perfume, even while im just at home (not doing the perfume and makeup now; im not THAT down yet :> )
(also, not in the mood for 8-11 right now; it's too rainy and gloomy outside; i don't even want to go out and drive in this weather!)
12. meditate/pray to God to help me get out of my funk! ( i already did this at 3am today; it worked for a while, but i woke up to another funk the second time after... maybe i should do another session right after this, this morning's "dosage" was obviously not enough to last me the whole day...)
hmmmmm...
i actually already feel better now!!! : )
and i didn't have to shop (like most women i know like to do) and spend money better used for more necessary things, or bitch around and make other people also miserable!
and that's the best and most positive thing about these all.
oh, thank you, God.
getting through this seemingly mundane struggle is a spiritual feat in itself!
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