Sunday, December 30, 2007

refining the Dream

"I am in a healthy, happy, abundant and loving relationship with Someone (like B), who intentionally creates time for us to be together and nurture our relationship for the rest of our lives."

i am hoping it's B, but present circumstances are showing me that it may not be him and definitely showing me that it is not the kind of relationship i would like to have for long, so i release him to his life, God bless him, and i will keep my focus instead on being in vibrational alignment with my heart's desire. maybe i came into his life when it's changing in a lot of ways-- new job in a new venue, one son moving on to college-- and that alone entails a lot of adjustments. maybe more reasons i do not know... whatever, i will not agonize over the fact anymore that even during his vacation when he is freer to arrange his time, i cannot be fitted in snugly enough.

unlike in previous relationships, i will not twist my self into knots anymore over someone or something for scraps of his time and loving attention, whenever he can fit it into his schedule. either they willingly give it and co-create our time together with me, or they don't. and that's just the way things are.

either i deal with it and move on, or ignore it, and keep twisting my self up.

i give as much as i get, even more. perhaps that is both my blessing and my burden. still, i definitely deserve as much as i give. and this kind of unnecessary hurting has to stop. i owe it to my self.

"I am in a healthy, happy, abundant and loving relationship with Someone (like B), who intentionally creates time for us to be together and nurture our relationship for the rest of our lives."

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