Thursday, May 05, 2005

Applying the C-Theory to Love

before anything else, let me make two things clear:

1. this is not a kiss-and-tell blog;
2. i don't have as many boyfriends or lovers that people who read my blogs seem to get an impression of.

when i start really liking a person and becoming very attracted to him, and even he to me-- that doesn't make him my bf, at least not in my vocabulary.

he is still just a friend, although a friend who has become special. a bf, for me, is somebody really serious--somebody im not only mutually in love with, but also somebody i have an expressed understanding to be mutually exclusive with and somebody i make plans with about a near future, at least.

so okay? this is just a blog about people who have touched my heart. the few people i have become really really intimate with in more ways, are less than the five pretty fingers of one of my pair of lovely hands!

that being made clear, here goes my application of The C-Theory to my search for true love... :)

*****

1. Ask and you shall receive - Express your desire.

after the ex-- who was the only one till after i left the marriage--all i knew was next time, i wanted something True. and true, for me, then, meant something close to what i didn't get in the marriage-- loving attention, respect, somebody listening to and engaging my heart and my mind, and appreciating who i am as a person and as a woman.

but i see now, that in the past 3 years, i have mostly been engaged in Step Two.

2. Seek, and you shall find. - Educate your self on what you really desire.

oh, how the people who have touched my heart since then-- although they were not the True Love i thought i desired (or are maybe still on their way to becoming my True Love) --gave me such a rich and thorough education!!!

mainly, from being with them for a brief time, i learned more and more about what i didn't want too, another way of teaching me to refine and redefine for my self further what i truly wanted--

(original post for this part deleted; im sorry some people were hurt...)

... and so on, and so forth...

so, in a way, my list has been further refined. in addition to my initial list, he must also be:

1. mature and self-responsible
2. positive about life
3. emotionally and geographically and physically and legally available : )

-- but basically, somebody with a good mind, a good heart and a fine spirit, somebody kind and honest and loving, and who loves me fully as much as i will love him and who wants to share all and the rest of his life with me as much as i want to share mine with him!

whew!

3. knock, and the door shall be opened. - i feel i will come to this part soon. i hope i will come to this part soon.

but maybe, my preparation is not finished yet.

for sure, my education is not over yet.

sigh...!!!
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