my friend says im crazy.
we met in the morning today at an administrative meeting. she's our university's bookstore manager, as well as the incoming Chair of our department, after my resignation takes effect in may.
she came to the meeting bringing with her a small red book titled, Dharma Sutra, really a small pamphlet of a local author on the whys and how tos of Dharma Sutra. the book got passed around the meeting made up mostly of women, who giggled at the pictures in the book. it got to me too, but what intrigued me was the title, and the preface.
i hastily whispered to my friend, who was beside me, "why Dharma and not Kama? I've only heard of Kama Sutra."
the book explained how Dharma Sutra can be used as a force to empower women, to diminish prostitution and marital rape and all other forms of sexual abuse against women.
but then, the meeting began, so we had to forget about the book altogether.
anyway, i was quick to notice the little slip of paper inserted in the book, containing the author's cellphone number.
so early tonight, i texted him to ask about the book. i was surprised by the price-- only 40 pesos (around 80 cents)! but i was even more surprised by the man's reaction, he seemed apologetic about the price and tried to justify it with a breakdown of where the amounts go to-- printing, cover, royalties, blah blah.
i stopped him. i told him that if his concept was valuable, he needn't apologize for the price. in fact he should even increase the price.
but i think the bottom line truth is that, especially in our country and society, people are embarassed about talking about sexual matters in the open. that's why he was so apologetic, even if he was the author.
and i think that's why too my friend calls me crazy, for ordering the book on impulse and being so open about it. ( i had to text her about it too as i asked the man to deliver it to her office, where i'll also leave my payment.)
but frankly, what i don't get is the the good sense of NOT educating one's self about all the powers one has.
especially at this time in my life, when i made a firm resolve since the New Year, to start giving to my self at last (and not wait around for anybody to give to me; holding one's breath for too long makes one blue!), to follow my deepest desires, and explore my truest pleasures...
books, writing, films, music, pasta, salads, good coffee, spa massage, beauty parlor head-to-toe pampering, looong nature walks, the adventure of travel, learning new things like belly dancing and aikido this summer,.... and of course, good lovemaking, with self or another.
if you set the stage, the actors will come. heeheeheee.